Sunday, March 21, 2010

9 Teens

Today I went to RITM but before leaving the house, I was frustrated with how blotchy my foundation was. Yes, I meant cosmetic foundation. It's not that the consistency of my Mary Kay foundation was bad. In fact, I love how it dries on my skin but the shade is way lighter than my skin tone now. I tried to fix it with my Prestige Perfectly Matte pressed powder but to no avail, I can't save the look for a picture-perfect complexion. I'm 23 years old and I've already mastered putting foundation since I was 19. I was frustrated. Argh! Then I rest my case.

Anyways, I was scheduled for my CD4 count test last December 8. I went to RITM on time. It usually takes a day or two before the result becomes available.

December 10, Negra accompanied me to NKI to see Dra. D to know the result of my CD4 count. A healthy person has a normal CD4 count ranging from 500 up to 1500.

I won't pretend that I wasn't hoping (more of wishing) for a high CD4 count so when we reached Dra. D's clinic, I was really nervous. It is as if my life is on the line. How would I react if Dra. D tells me that my count is just 300? Haaaay. Sana at least higher than than.

I sat on the chair, hoping Dra D would stop my agony... but she doesn't have the result yet. Argh! Then, she called someone over the phone (maybe Ate A?) to finally get the lucky number.

Binaba nya yung phone.




The next few words she uttered were, " Kelangan na naten mag-start ng ARV."

But I needed to hear a number :(

My eyes pleaded for an answer.

It was fast. She said, my CD4 count is - 19.

I was in shock! Then, I quickly recovered my shattered thoughts - tried to smile. I needed to show Dra. D and Negra a facial reaction other than my blank face. It was a smile that shows my teeth, grinding each other. I can hear my heartbeat. Can they also hear how fast my heart beats?

Negra did the talking while I was trying to calm myself.

I said, just breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. And slooow exhale.

We left the clinic quietly. I joked Negra, "Hindi man lang 3 digit number or at least higher than my age which was 22" Kaloque!

Well, I've read stories of people having a CD4 count of 6 but are still oozing with energy. Yeah. Yeah. Pero bakit 19? Of all the possible number. (Sana kahit + 1 para nag 20). Hahaha

We stopped by Kenny Roger's. Ganado ako kumain. And I'm telling you, if you saw me that day, you really can't tell that my CD4 count is less than the total number of my fingers and toes ...

Actually, you can't tell I'm a poz just by looking - I was using the right foundation shade then.


  1. mataas pa CD4 mo... hehe.. mine is 13. I met someone who's CD4 is 2.

    Just think... when you are really at your lowest point.. the only way is UP! :)

  2. dont worry you'll be fine mine is only 5. but the doctor said i'll be just fine. now im totally ok im just hate all this wasting. stay strong and PRAY.

  3. true. im not worried naman tlga. haha mas kabado pa friends ko kesa saken lol. wink

    @trese che! hahahaha mishu